Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Down to the Essentials: A Personal Note

It’s been a long time since my last blog entry. In the meantime, we moved onto the property, have been working seven days a week, and finally were able to move into our house a few weeks ago.

We were living in our RV for many years. Now I tremendously enjoy the space in the house. With more external space comes a sense of greater internal space. Moreover, there is less clutter around me, actually no clutter at all, but clarity.

I have realized that I have spread myself too thin, have done too much and too forcefully.

While multitasking has become a virtue, I want to learn to be present with one single task alone. While goal setting has been en vogue for many years, I want to let go of all projections into the future.

I always have had a deep longing for a simple and authentic life. Now it’s the time to listen to that desire and to make space for its manifestation.

I am letting go of everything that is not essential to my life.
This Blog, for example, is not essential.
I may come back to it later; I may not.

Although at times I enjoyed writing for it, it mainly has been a chore, self-imposed out of the belief that I needed one because “everybody” else has one.
I stop doing things that I have been doing because of my own or other people’s expectations.

What are the non-essentials in your life?
How can you let go of them?
How does it feel to make space for yourself – and for nothing else?

Thanks for stopping by!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Remodeling a Home!

I do not know of any project that takes more patience, flexibility and ultimately – humor than remodeling an old house!

It’s been a while since my last Blog entry. My husband and I were busy finding a new home. First, we made a serious effort to leave the desert of southern NM and to settle in cool Oregon. For various reasons, however, we had to change our plans. Instead of moving to another state, we bought an old farmhouse here in Deming, NM.
It is - how real estate agents like to put it – a “project home.” Actually, it is a huge project!

The brick walls and the roof are in great shape. It also came with a nice kitchen with wooden cabinets. The tiled floors are okay, too. But other than that, almost everything else has to be replaced: The waterlines, the sewer lines, the insulation, the interior walls, every window, every exterior and interior door, the wooden floors, the bathroom, etc.

My husband with his extensive background as a contractor rolls up his sleeves and gets to work. He has a clear idea about each step, each task, the tools needed, and, moreover, the time it will take.

I, on the other side, have never put my time into a project like this. Despite best intentions to stay calm, impatience and the desire to get things done ASAP easily surface.

The other day, I was sanding the old claw foot bathtub to remove the paint. I did not want to use the highly toxic paint stripper and thought I’d be okay with the slow process of sanding. I made an interesting discovery: The less patient I was, the less paint the sander seemed to be able to remove! But when I let go of any expectation and settled into the gliding motion of the vibrating tool in my hand, I could see the tiny specks of old paint disappearing.

Similarly, I needed to remove old fencing material with which the previous owners had set apart a kind of “garden.” I had planned to be finished within half a day. Instead, it took two days. First I got mad with the relentless sun that made working outside (even at the end of September) almost impossible. Then I surrendered and began to enjoy the tug-of-war between me and the fiercely anchored wire fence. It felt good to use muscles of which I did not even know that they existed!

There are so many opportunities to let go - of a schedule, of an idea, of a plan.
Meanwhile it is fun to change plans on an almost daily basis.

Well, tomorrow I want to get back to my sander. But maybe I need to help my husband “fishing” the new waterline under the house, or cutting the last piece of plywood for the bathroom floor.
Who knows?

Remodeling a house also provides many opportunities to develop new skills.
Next weekend, I would like to fill the post holes for the fence with cement. I have never mixed cement and worked with it. I am curious and looking forward to a new experience. And I am planning on staying calm in case I should not be able to get all the holes filled on one day.

But who knows?
Maybe I get impatient again.

It's a roller coaster ride. It's a reflection of life.