How relaxed is your relationship with your computer?

Almost three weeks ago, without any forewarning, the unimaginable happened: My hard drive crashed - "for the first time in my entire life!"

From then on I went through different stages:

First, I was in disbelief and panic. Questions like, "how can this happen?" and "what am I going to do without my computer?" occupied my thinking during the first hours after the event.
And because it was a weekend, I knew I was not going to get the laptop back "soon," meaning the next day. Needless to say that this did not calm me down.

To make matters worse, I had not backed up my data since November. Consequently, I had trouble falling asleep that night. My mind was scanning my memory bank in an attempt to retrieve valuable information.

On the next morning, I noticed an irritation, oscillating between "slight" and "severe." I sat at my desk, utterly confused about what to do next and how to start my day. My usual routine for the last eight years of checking emails, answering them, checking website statistics, reading Blog updates, ect. was painfully disrupted. I felt vulnerable and isolated. After a while, I grabbed a book, stepped outside, and with a sigh sat down on a chair and began to read.

Then I noticed that I was reading like I hadn't been reading in a long time: slowly, with intense attention, and every once in a while looking up and realizing the beautiful environment - the light breeze, the rustling in the trees, the songs of the birds, the warmth of the sun.

Suddenly, I had all the time of the world. Finally, I felt a deep inner peace.

By Monday afternoon, I was surprisingly glad to hear that the repair guys were still busy to determine the extent of the damage and to save my data. I continued to start my days peacefully by sitting outside for an hour and reading. Additionally, I found myself willing to dedicate only one hour per day to check emails on my husband's computer.

The amount of time at my disposal seemed to triple; time itself deepened.
By the middle of my first computer-free week, I had a deep understanding for some of my students who refuse to purchase a computer and who go to the library for their email correspondence.

Eventually, it took me a whole week to arrive at the decision to order a new hard drive.

The second week felt like vacation.
I increasingly enjoyed my life without a computer.
Contrarily, friends felt the need to pity me. "That's too bad," they commented on my computer-less condition. "I could not live without a computer!" one friend exclaimed.

When the call came that my computer was ready to be picked up, I almost felt a sadness and a loss. I gave myself an additional computer-free day before I drove to town to take my laptop back.

And now?
Well, I am writing this sitting outside again, marveling at the beauty of the high desert. It is a wonderful evening. The breeze elicits playful sounds from the wind chime.

The question now is not how to live without a computer.
Instead, how to live with it?
How to live with this - admittedly - helpful friend that demands so much of my time, grabs my attention whenever I enter my office, and quits cooperation when I expect it the least?

I guess it's like with everybody and everything else: dancing the line between dependence and independence, respectful for the needs of both parties.

Relaxation is less a matter of technique . . .

. . . than of self-worth.

In my classes, I regularly ask participants how they relax.

Very few answer that they watch TV or read the newspaper for relaxation purposes. My usual response is that these pastimes are distraction and not relaxation.
Most participants, however, relax by spending an hour in the bathtub, by sitting in the garden, by having a massage, by drinking a cup of tea while watching the clouds, by spending fifteen minutes in their favorite restorative yoga pose, or by listening to Chopin.

Most of us do know how to relax deeply. A variety of methods and techniques is easily available; in-depth information on the health benefits is readily accessible.

Yet, do we take time for relaxation on a daily basis?

We brush our teeth, we check emails, we watch the news, we run errands, we do the dishes, and we scan the mail. But what about the time we wanted to take just for ourselves?

Has our life mutated into a to-do list and anything else takes precedence over us?
Can we give ourselves permission to rest only after every item on this list has a check mark?
Does our self-worth depend on our accomplishments?

Our society applauds us for accomplishments and asks us to “work hard” which means, “to work a lot” and, consequently, against our biorhythm. If we follow this paradigm obediently, relaxation will just be another item on the to-do list and the first we skip when time gets short.

The question, “How do you relax and how often,” points to the very center of our self-concept. Are we the sum of our accomplishments or the expression of a creative force that does neither begin nor end with us?

Later more.
Have a nice day!

What is Autogenic Training?

Dear Readers,

Whenever I mention Autogenic Training, I am asked, "What is Autogenic Training?"
In contradiction to Germany, my native country, very few people in the US have heard about it.

Here is a short answer:
Autogenic Training is a relaxation technique. To be more specific, it is a mental relaxation technique.

Unlike yoga, for example, it is not physical but mental. With Autogenic Training, we don't relax by moving the body but by quieting the mind. When the mind quiets down, the body follows.

We quiet the mind by repeating six mental phrases.

The six mental phrases are:

• My arms and legs are heavy.
• My arms and legs are warm.
• Calm and regular is my heartbeat.
• Calm and regular is my breathing.
• My solar plexus is warm.
• My forehead is cool and clear.

It is relatively easy to learn, if you practice daily for a few moments.

Once learned, it takes only a few moments to shift into a state of deep relaxation.
You can apply it in almost every situation. You may sit at your doctor's office or at a meeting, and nobody will notice that you practice Autogenic Training.

Although it is relatively easy to learn, Autogenic Training has its subtleties. Therefore you need a class and/or an experienced teacher. You find, however, very few opportunities to learn Autogenic Training in the US.
My website is one of very few English sites that inform comprehensively about Autogenic Training, and it is the only one that offers a Self-Study Program which allows you to learn this method in depth at your convenience.

Check it out and go to www.developserenity.com. To get a quick overview, watch the slide show at www.developserenity.com/autogenic_training.htm.

Once found, how do we maintain inner peace?

Dear fellow humans and aspirants for peace,

The recent workshop in Las Cruces made the need for relaxation clear to everybody involved.
Those of you who participated in it registered because you probably felt stressed out, burned out, restless, confused, or being trapped in a rut. It took only a few restorative yoga poses, and most of you felt the other side of the coin: relief, support, inner spaciousness, and gentleness toward yourself.

This was now three weeks ago.
How are you doing now?
Has this workshop - or any other class/book on the same subject - changed anything in the way you conduct your life? Or are you "back to business as usual?"

I assume that the latter is the case.
Please, don't get gray hair over it and don't strew ashes on your head.

It is one of the many paradoxes of or time: There is an overwhelming amount of information on stress and relaxation available. Meanwhile, we all know that relaxation is a physiological, mental, and spiritual necessity. Moreover, we have a good idea how to relax.

Nevertheless, do we incorporate into our daily lives what we have learned at the yoga studio, in meditation retreats, and in stress reduction classes?

Why not?
What keeps us running around?
What would it take to shift finally toward a balanced and peaceful lifestyle?